In the past three years of working with orphans, I have lost eight children. Some I knew very well, others our Father gave me just one day to show His love to them.
In the month of May three of my children died in one week, I helplessly watched one die. It was truly a trying time for me, a testing of my faith.
I have caught myself wishing many times that i could send an update that had great stories of revival and amazing miracles but the reality is this, work has been hard progress has been slow. In His sovereignty Abba is allowing that for a season I drink from the cup of sorrow, deep sorrow. Am i thankful? In all things I have learned to give him praise because nothing is ever in vain.
At the beginning of the year Abba told me that this would be a year of joy, as I look back half way through the year I see that there has been so much more sorrow, but I have also learned that joy is not the emotion that is so dependant on the situation, joy is the deep sense of well being, of peace knowing that even if I don’t understand why I am surrounded with so much pain and suffering Jesus is my anchor, HE HOLDS ME.
I cannot really explain it all, all I know is this, even when I thought I could take it no longer the joy of the Lord was my strength. HE gave me a new song to sing each morning, HE led me besides quiet waters, HE restored my soul. The lessons I have learned through death I cannot exchange for anything else, I remember as I cried over the three deaths I said this, “Jesus if its your will that I know you more through sorrow, take me deeper give me the cup, let me drink from it.”
May you be encouraged in some small as you continue to labour for Him.
With much love