a toast to loneliness and friendship!

many times i am asked by random guys and men “with all that i am doing dont i think about getting married?”, my response has always been and will continue to be “i am not looking for a guy, the guy will find me and if he can keep up with the work God has blessed me with that will be great, if not my life wont come to an end.” many of them are surprised at my response. i get the feeling they think my life as it is is not complete that if i had a guy then i would be happy, whole. something i absolutely do not believe in. before you start thinking i am a marriage hater let me be clear about one thing; i think marriage is a wonderful thing and if God wants me to be married that would be great BUT I will not let the idea of marriage control my thoughts and how i conduct my life.

its been four years since i stumbled over the work i am doing now, four tough and wonderful years FULL of intense learning. one of my biggest battle has been with loneliness, there just didnt seem to be any permanent friends around. especially in my second year of work which was by far the hardest (so far). whenever a situation arose where i just needed a good friend to talk with there was no one. i remember praying so hard for God to bring along some friend, any friend to ease the loneliness (at times my prayer would go like “a boyfriend would be absolutely necessary RIGHT NOW God.hehehe) , but that year came and went with no one coming. i look back now and i can truly say it was good that i was alone, it hurt like crazy and i hope never ever have to repeat that year again but it made me rely only on Him, it made me shout, cry, plead to Him, it made me know Him deeply.Best of all I learned a lot about who i was without anyone telling me who i should be. its been one of the toughest lessons i have learned being comfortable with being alone.

Since then i have met wonderful people, people i have come to know as good solid friends even though most times i will only see them after 2 years or more but their words of encouragement through emails has been wonderful. Most of the solid friends are girls my age or older the best thing is some of them are serving Jesus as single ladies which means the same frustrations i have they have as well and we are able to encourage each other. I am blessed to have them showing me you are not alone and what you are going through we are as well. We are never made to be islands even though for a season you may feel cut off from the world you are not forgotten in due time He will bring friends along good solid friends.

I still dont have any permanent friends close by but i dont feel forgotten. i am looking forward to the friends God will connect me with here in Maputo.

be blessed! HE LOVES US!


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