In these last few weeks, my dads illness has caused me to ponder a lot on how God works in the area of giving and taking life, I am left with more questions than answers concerning how this works. On three occasions in one week we pleaded to God for Him to give more life to my dad. The memories of that week are still so hard to deal with, to be honest I would rather not even talk or write about them. In my line of work I have always had many questions concerning death and prayer. When death came so close to home the questions in my heart intensified their demands for answers, answers I may never get this side of life.
For example; did our prayers change anything? Did we need to pray as much if it was not his time to go? Can prayer change Gods plans?…if we had not spent ourselves praying for his recovery would he have died?
I have read and heard stories of people being unable to die because family was not letting them go. I guess some people are skeptical of such stories because there is no theological backing for such events. in that week, we as a family experienced this very situation, he was ready to go but we held on to him. We begged, pleaded and cried to our Father and so many friends and family around the world joined us in our plea and he came back to us. I don’t care what you may think I know for a fact it was not my dads will that kept him alive it was a pure miracle from God, it cannot be explained.
I am not one to act as if i have all the answers to being a christian. This entry does not want answers, this is me sharing my thoughts on how confusing prayer can be to me. Sometimes things are just not black and white.
…they say when you pray never demand from God cause who are we to tell the Creator what to do…in that week we demanded of God and he heard us…
I am thankful that heaven is for an eternity, there is so much my human mind does not understand now. I am looking forward to long conversations not just with Jesus but with all the others that have gone before me concerning His sovereignty.
I wonder even then will i be able to fully comprehend it?