they say we all have a love language, a mode of communication that makes us feel appreciated, loved and understood, mine is writing. i love to write. my close friends know me for my note writing, letter writing, emailing, facebook messaging, you name it, any form of putting words down from my mind to real or virtual paper i LOVE! i guess thats why i started this blog, its the perfect place for me to clear my mind and play with words.
a couple of months ago i had this rather pesky neighbour called “Ms if only” come to visit. at first i tolerated her because her visits where never long…BIG MISTAKE the other day i realised she has actually moved in and is living with me! she is the first thing i hear when i wake up, always ready to plant seeds of bitterness whenever i have a moments peace(which is often). basically i feel my mind is under siege with ms if onlys biting words.
This horrid woman has been capitalising on the fact that i have a broken friendship with a good friend that looks like it may never be repaired. she is never without new suggestions on how circumstances might have gone better “if only i had done this or that.” which always leaves me feeling depressed because i dearly wish this friendship could be fixed.
you ask “why not just ignore her?” thing is, if someone has had the keys to your house for so long booting them out is not an easy task.people like Ms if only make roots and if i dont deal with the root of why she is here, well she will always have the keys to come back any time she wants. one of the things that is helping me uproot her is simply refusing her bait. those small thoughts that come to my mind encouraging me to constantly look back into the past and lament what has already happened and cannot be changed. i then replace all her negative talk with what Jesus says about me. not easy to do at first since Ms if onlys’ words sound soooo convincing and Jesus words so not, but i do it anyways until what Jesus says about me is all i have in my mind. for anyone who has tried doing this, they can agree with me, its not easy!
oneday i will finally have her completely out of my house, meanwhile, here she comes again excuse me as i go deal with her with todays truth: “as far as the east is from the west, thats how far He has removed our sins/mistakes/crap from us never to be remembered again. therefore i am called to live a life free from the burden of guilt and “if onlys.”
ALL things work for the good of those that love Him and live according to his Word!