January was a month of way too much grief in Pikangikum, according to locals its been awhile since so much saddeness happened in a space of 10 days. I will not delve into the details of what went on. In the process of being there for those who had lost so much I am filled with countless questions as I observe the different faces that suffering takes. I watch how people choose to embrace it or shun it, talk about it or pretend the elephant is not in the room.  I take note of the people who want to fix suffering and those who just stare at it angrily. I notice how the children don’t fully understand it and yet understand it way more than the average Canadian child. Always, always, I wonder about the children, what are they thinking? I notice too that the heaviness that faithfully accompanies suffering is competing within me with my desire to bring comfort to my friends. I wonder what to do with it . Even though I worked and at times lived in the midst of  much pain and suffering back home, this heaviness  I am experiencing here is new to me. An uninvited clingy guest, the kind you wish will get an unexpected call and leave as suddenly as he arrived. One cannot be of good company when this unwanted companion won’t take a hint when you have had enough.

In time I will figure out what works for me when dealing with this strange heaviness.

I took these pictures with my iphone so I don’t know if the quality is that great when looking at them with a laptop or computer ( I don’t have a laptop just a tablet) Sunsets and Sunrises in Pik are epic. Today these pictures reminded me that just as January had to come to an end so will this heaviness that I and so many others in Pik are grappling with.

You wouldnt know that a beautiful sunrise was just around the corner,


till we went around the bend.




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