confessions

 

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The very rare occasions when I unleash the beast and she does as she pleases.

 

It all started several days into my trip back home, my dear sister in law and I were chatting about all black women’s favourite topics, hair care. I was feeling a tad bit proud of myself as we talked because I had successfully gone three years of resisting the temptation of trying out some strange hair remedy. The only reason I had lasted so long was because with my last experiment my hair had literally fallen out in chunks … shudder …

Jessi spoke in passing that her hair stylist often mentioned the miraculous powers of eggs in hair, and just like that, I was intrigued! Friend, you would think after my last experience with eggs that I would leave well enough alone but nope, that fiasco was a distant memory and I was quite confident this time around, it would be different, I would attain the holy grail of all black women’s desires when it comes to hair: silky soft to the touch, lush and luminous to the eyes!

So the next day armed with determination and visions of luxurious hair, I got the eggs out. My first mistake was doing this “treatment” when my mum was out, in the past, she has always been there to save my hair from myself. I should have waited for her return but I was so sure this time I would be the envy of the women in my family. My second mistake was completely forgetting to factor in the heat that day, it was 40C with 200% humidity ( yes, yes I know there is nothing like that but you get the idea)  I whipped two eggs in a plastic cup set it aside for ten minutes as I rummaged around for a towel in my sisters rather untidy room. Well unbeknownst to me, ten minutes was enough time for the eggs to start cooking whilst in the plastic cup next to the tub, that’s how hot it was! Before pouring the mixture ( I had added conditioner and olive oil) I smelt it and something told me the “treatment” didn’t smell right, ignoring my suspicions I forged on, pouring it into my hair. I was in it to win it, that silky hair was just 30 mins away.

As the smelly lumpy concoction slide down my face, it became quite apparent that my suspicions had been correct, the eggs had partially cooked. But I still refused to believe that was possible and even went as far as massaging the gunk deeper into my very thick and nappy hair. I finished the whole procedure by putting a bag over my head and letting the stuff stay in my hair for another 30 minutes. When it came time to wash my hair I was practically gagging, wondering who would do this to themselves?
I hurriedly tried to wash it out with cold water and that’s when I realised I had made my third mistake, in my excitement I had forgotten that the heat of the day had warmed up the pipes so that only warm and hot water was available. Standing in front of the bathroom mirror, looking at my hair covered in scrambled eggs and all I could think of was how brutal my sibling’s reaction would be to my latest experiment. And oh how they laughed at me! I tried to wash the gunk out of my hair with more conditioner but to no avail. My hair stunk so bad for days and whenever I would comb it, white flecks would fall out. It didn’t help much that my brother took it upon himself to ask on a regular basis if I still had egg in my hair. With the memory of my family’s reactions planted firmly in my mind, I promised myself this was the very last time I would ever do that.Then Toronto airport happened.

On my return to Red Lake I had a four-hour layover in Toronto, in order to stay awake after a non-stop 17-hour flight ( with two toddlers screaming much of the way) I ambled around the airport and came across a store that sold hair products. I couldn’t help myself, I just had to take a peak. As I browsed through their products, I hit it off with the Indian lady at the till . With great animation, she started sharing with me all the wonders of using natural products in ones hair. You guessed right, eggs were on top of her list.

 

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I am going to behave myself and stay away from eggs …  but who knows … you know what they say, third time is a charm!

 

 

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