Darling, stand by me!

Last November, my grandmother dislocated her left hip and knee. Average health care in my grannys town can only be given if you are rich, as it is my granny has never been rich. When taken to the government hospital, she was given mild pain killers(panados) and inexperienced student doctors tried to attend to her leg. I think those 3 weeks in the hospital were the worst of my grannys life. At one point the pain was so excruciating she became delirious for many days and then the left side of her body and face became paralysed. My grandma is 85 years. When my grandpa realised that the hospital would do nothing to help his wife, he decided to bring her home. My grandma was the busy, hardworking woman who got things done, now she is blind with a body that wont cooperate, it’s not been an easy adjustment.

Grandpa and Grandma.

Grandpa and Grandma.

Charles Matipa is my Grandpa. He has amazing health, no thanks to any medication or sacred secret to a long healthy life. He has good eyesight, hearing, perfect teeth (even though he has never been to a dentist his whole life)and can walk long distances visiting church member as he is a pastor of a church with around 170 members . He speaks fluent English, French, Swahili, Bemba (my tribal language) a number of other Zambian languages and LOVES to read. He reads his bible every day with ardent interest diligently taking notes for future reference … grandpa has read his bible for more than 60 years. When you meet him, you would not believe he is 92 years old.

Grandpa loves grandma.

In the month I spent with them, I watched how he took care of his best friend (that’s what he calls her) Singing to her, praying with her and encouraging her when she went into her bouts of deep depression. Day or night my grandpa is there for her, he hardly leaves her side. Sometimes I would wake up in the middle of the night and hear grandpa praying for granny. There were days when grandma was not the easiest patient to look after ( her daughters, my mother and two sisters are her care takers)but he remained patient and lavished his love on her.  I am yet to meet someone as patient AND long suffering as my grandpa. It’s not medication that has improved my grandmothers health, since none was given, from my observation it is the constant care and attention from family that have brought her to a point were she no longer feels pain and the paralysis has gone away. When you look at her leg you can see that its loose but somehow the pain has gone.

Grandma is not afraid to die, in fact she often talks about it with grandpa, she knows heaven is home, she is excited…

Friend, I am sharing what I observed not what I learned, it will take a while to put into words what I learned in the month I observed my grandpa’s devotion and my grandmas suffering.

I love to love you

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In my world there is no such thing as a “small wedding!”

Cheap? yes!

Simple? yes!

extravagant? even better!

Expensive? YES PLEASE!

BUT “small wedding??” you might as well ask the moon to stop rotating around the earth! My brother (FYI I am the oldest of 4, three girls and one boy) is getting married this Friday but celebrations began last Saturday. Jessi’s father organised a goodbye party for their whole family to come and wish Jessi goodbye as she gets ready to leave her family and joins us. There were no less than 100 family members present, give or take another 30 people who were family friends. In my world, family is not just the immediate family unit its EVERYONE, uncles, aunties, first, second, third cousins, grandparents and much more. We were also invited as the family wanted to meet the family that Jessi would be joining, friend it was such a wonderful day, with loads of food ( they bought and killed a cow for the occasion) amazing live african jazz music, LOTS of dancing and laughter.

It turned out that Jessi’s grandparents were also celebrating 59 years of marriage. For me it was wonderful to see two generations, one that was just about to begin their journey and another that had been at it for decades.

Jessi's grandparents

Jessi’s grandparents

Now there are two more days of celebrations left, this Friday is the official wedding and then on Saturday we will have a welcome party at our house, it’s a Mozambican custom (Jessi is Mozambican) for the family of the groom to host a lunch for the family of the bride to come and officially leave their daughter with the grooms family. We will have around 100 people at our house, fun times! I can’t make any promises on sharing more pictures of our celebrations as my brother and Jessi are private about their lives but I am sure I can make a plan and share some pictures with you.

59 YEARS OF MARRIAGE!

59 YEARS OF MARRIAGE!

There are three things that amaze me – no, four that I don’t understand:

how an eagle glides through the sky,

how a snake slithers on a rock,

how a ship navigates the ocean,

how a man loves a woman. 

King Solomon.

Luis and Flo

Luis and Flo

28 years.

28 years ago yesterday, my mother married a young pastor who had nothing to his name but his passion to share Jesus to the world and the faith to believe that God would take care of them as they faithfully served Him 🙂 I dont think my mom has ever regretted making that decision 😀 Her Facebook status yesterday was :28 years today, it feels like yesterday.

As their first-born daughter, I want to vouch for my parents love and respect for each other. My dad always tells people where ever he goes that my mom is his best friend. Many times I have heard people saying that the worst thing a couple could do is work together. I for one cannot understand this because my whole life my parents have worked together as a team, encouraging, rebuking and sticking together through the highs and lows of pastoral work and it has worked well for them.

Whats the biggest lesson I have learned from my parents marriage? There is so much but now the first one that comes to mind is this:  Marriage is sacrificial, you are always giving yourself up for the best of your partner even when you don’t feel like it or you don’t get the feedback you desire. Thank you mom and dad!